Mr. Selfish and I truly enjoyed our stay at the beautiful Conrad Koh Samui. The only downsides were: (1) the location and (2) the food.
As to location, the Conrad Koh Samui is quite far from the airport and pretty much everything else on the island. Mr. Selfish already went over how we hired Mr. Samui Samui to solve the issue of transportation. However, the location also made it very expensive and inconvenient to leave the property. As a result, other than a diving trip that we took, we stayed on property, which meant that we had to eat on property.
The food was tasty but man, was it expensive! Luckily, I am a Gold Hilton Honors member so we had free breakfast at Zest. We typically ate breakfast as late as possible to make it into a brunch and then had an early dinner. The breakfast spread was quite impressive. You could order an egg selection from the menu, including eggs benedict, English breakfast, etc., and then still eat from the buffet.
The buffet spread was diverse. There were pastries, egg rolls, dumplings, curry, stir-fry, rice, noodles, and even sushi. The individual items changed every day but there was usually at least one type of rice, noodles, curry, and stir-fry.
Even with the free breakfast, our tab for meals was quite high upon check-out. It was a good thing we didn’t pay anything for the room, because the food was expensive enough.
The price was the same for eating at the restaurant as room service, so Mr. Selfish and I had room service a couple of nights. On our first night, we had the Thai pizza, which had a curry base, sausages, chicken, and shrimp, and chicken schnitzel. The pizza was the clear winner because it had quite a spicy kick.
Mr. Selfish and I also ate at Zest, which is where breakfast is served, for dinner once. We had a club sandwich and spaghetti. Both were okay but surprisingly sweet.
We then had dinner next to the pool at Azure. Once again, we had the Thai pizza. We also ordered the burger and fries, which were pretty good.
Finally, Mr. Selfish and I decided to splurge and have the Mojito Drunch, which is from noon to 3pm and has unlimited tapas appetizers and mojitos. I had about three mojitos and Mr. Selfish had four and a half mojitos. Fun was had by all.
It was 1,450 baht (~$49 USD) per person but we drank and ate enough to cover that price I think. The tapas were pretty much the appetizers on the menu, including quesadillas, nachos, sliders, chicken satay, beef and shrimp skewers, and fries. They kept the mojitos and appetizers coming to mine and Mr. Selfish’s delight.
Other than happy hour specials and the Mojito Drunch, Mr. Selfish and I probably spent about $45 USD per day on one meal for both of us at the Conrad Koh Samui, which is very expensive for meals in Thailand. However, we were happy to pay that price to stay in a villa with own infinity pool.